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Watch Sonny With a Chance Sunday nights on Disney Channel
You've Got Fan Mail
Marshall: Alright, auditions for "So you think you can pp dance" in 5, 4, 3...
Sonny: This is "So You Think You Can PP Dance". Flo! Pia! Agua! And Wee Diddy!
[Rap Music Plays]
Sonny: What's up, Peeps! I know you're all flushed with excitement. Because we are streaming live across the world. The final votes have trickled in. We're about to find out which one of you will become number one...at holding number one. Right after thisssssss. "So You Think You Can PP Dance" is brought to you by water.
[Background Music]: Water!
[All Scream]
Marshall: Great rehearsal guys. Now I need a PP break.
[Demi Lovato's "So Far So Great" plays as theme song]
Sonny: Hi! This is Sonny and you've reached me on my new cell phone at 555...0125. That was way too perky.
[Niko and Grady come in racing to get to the bathroom]
Grady: I don't know what it is about that sketch, but every time we rehearse it, I got to go to the bathroom.
Niko: Not if I get there first.
[Niko jumps over Grady's head to get ahead of him]
Sonny: Oh, hey Josh!
Josh: [depressed] Hey, Sonny.
Sonny: Chad? What are you doing and why are you doing it over here at "So, Random"?
Chad: Well I'm not just the star of "McKenzie Falls", America's number one tween drama. I also got a part in a movie.
Sonny: Hmm. I still don't know why you're here.
Chad: I'm playing a mail delivery guy who works at a high power law firm. It's a small, but crucial role. So I'm following my good buddy, Jeff here around.
Sonny: It's Josh!
Chad: Who's Josh?
Josh: That would be me.
Sonny: Well, Good Luck!
Chad: Thank You.
Sonny: I was talking to Josh.
[Sonny resumes making her answering machine message]
Sonny: Hi, this is Sonny, and you've reached me at 555-0125, you know what to do.
[Sonny's cell phone rings as a cow]
Sonny: Hey, my first phone call. Hello?
Tawni: Yeah it's me. Could you keep it down? I have twenty pounds of fan mail to go through.
Sonny: Fan Mail? Did I get any?
[Sonny's cell phone rings]
Sonny: Hello?
Tawni: Aw, I was hoping to get your machine. Anyway, no fan mail for you.
Sonny: That's okay!
Tawni: Um, I said you had NO fan mail.
Sonny: I heard you.
Tawni: Doesn't that bother you? I mean when I joined the show, my fan mail started right away.
Sonny: Doesn't bother me.
[Sonny's cell phone rings again]
Sonny: Hello?
Tawni: Does it bother you now?
Sonny: I'm off to rehearsal. Besides, I'm not going to let this bother me. I'm way too mature.
[Sonny takes baby bottle prop and hat to the rehearsal]
[scene skips rehearsal and meets Marshall and Sonny backstage]
Sonny: Hey, Marshall!
Marshall: Hey, kiddo! Great rehearsal. I loved you in that "Baby, Wah Wah" sketch.
Sonny: Thanks.
Marshall: [laughing] When you spit up on that changing table, I laughed so hard, I got that pain I like.
Sonny: Good! Look, Marshall. Do you think it's weird I haven't gotten any fan mail yet?
Marshall: No, not at all. You know. Not everybody gets fan mail.
Josh: Here's your fan mail, Marshall.
[Chad walks by deciding how to do his fan mail]
Chad: Announce Mail, then present mail.
Sonny [to Marshall]: You get fan mail?
Marshall: No! It's not fan mail. I get letters from people I don't know who admire me.
Sonny: That would be fan mail.
Marshall: Well, If you want to put a label on it.
[screen flips to Niko and Grady sorting through fan mail]
Niko: Look at all this fan mail, man
Grady: I know. Are we the luckiest guys in the world, or what?
Niko: Ooh, Pictures from girls...
Grady: Prom Invitations?
Niko: Locks of hair-oh no!
Grady: And none of it matters. Because all I can think about is what's inside that box.
Niko: Let's open it.
Grady: No! No! No! No! No! No! We can't do that! It's Zora's and it says "Private and Confidential. DO NOT OPEN"
Niko: Yeah, but if you if you stand like this...[laughs]
[Niko puts envelope over everything but open]
Niko:...it just says "open". Here, grab the tape.
[Grady is shot in the forehead with a toy bow with a suction cup at the end by Zora]
Niko: Whoa!
Zora: Back away from the box or it's going to get messy.
Niko: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold up, Zora, what's the big deal? We weren't really going to open it.
Zora: Yeah, right! You guys open every single package I get and eat what's inside. Whether it's food or not!
Grady: Oh, come on. Tell us what's inside the box.
Zora: You really want to know?
[Niko and Grady]: Yes.
Zora: Okay, come in real close. I'll tell you...[Yells]NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! So keep your mitts of my mail, punks.
[Scene switches to Sonny practicing crying for the "Baby Wah, Wah" sketch]
Sonny: Wah, Wah, Wah! That's no good. [higher pitched] Wah, Wah, Wah.
Tawni: Still crying about no fan mail?
Sonny: No. I told you. I'm totally fine with that.
Tawni: Maybe someday, you'll get a fan letter like everyone else. Me, Zora, Grady, Niko, Marshall,...Me.
Sonny: Well for your information. I did get a fan letter. From Royalty. A king no less.
Tawni: Oh, really? Could it be the Hunan King? Does he live in a noodle palace?
Sonny: Actually, he's got seven locations. Okay, fine it's just a menu. I didn't get any stupid fan mail.
Tawni: Sweetie, I know it must hurt to be so unpopular. Well, I don't know. I can only imagine. Just like you can only imagine what it's like to actually BE popular. You see, every fan letter is like a hug from a friend.
Sonny: Is this pep talk almost over?
Tawni: Let's see. I got more pep. So yeah, all done!
Sonny: I have fans. They just haven't had time to write yet.
Tawni: Keep dreaming!
Sonny: It's time. [gets pen and paper and begins to write herself a fan letter from "Eric"]
Sonny as Eric: Dear Sonny...
[scene changes to Niko and Grady at a snack table]
Grady: Dude! Do you see what I see?
Niko: Chocolate covered, caramel filled, nut clusters.
Grady: No! But grab a few of those and I'll show you. Over there... the forbidden box.
[both look around for Zora]
Niko: And no Zora!
Grady: No Zora.
[Both rush over to the box as the camera changes to Sonny slipping the fake mail into the delivery cart]
Chad: Josh, come on. I think I'm ready.
Josh: I don't.
Chad: But, I just want to push the cart.
[Neither Chad nor Josh are paying enough attention as Sonny puts her fake mail from Eric into the cart]
Josh: This is MY cart.
Sonny: Hey guys, sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?
Tawni: Hey, mail's here. [directed at Sonny] This doesn't concern you.
Josh: Hey, Sonny. Here's a letter.
Sonny: For me?
Tawni: For her?
Josh [to Sonny]: For You.
Marshall: Hey I told you you'd get a fan letter. Way to go, kiddo. Read it out loud.
Sonny: Oh, no, no! I don't want to brag. [Starts reading letter] "Dear, Sonny. My name is Eric and So, Random is my favorite show. I didn't think it could get any better, but then you joined the cast .I think you're awesome and talented and please say Hi to Niko, Zora, Grady, and Marshall."
Marshall: I got a shout-out.
Tawni: Bored already!
Marshall: How nice is that letter? You know what? We should call this kid.
Sonny: Yeah. What? No! Why?
Marshall: Because he's your first fan. This is a very big deal. And how excited would he be to get a phone call from you?
Sonny: Well, I would love to call my first fan, but too bad we don't even have his number!
Marshall: Sure we do! He left it on this Post It!
Sonny: Wait! You can't just call people out of the blue like that!
Marshall: Sure we can! You were so down in the dumps. This is the perfect "Pick-me-up"
Sonny: But, I'm not down anymore. In fact, I'm out of the dumps!
Marshall: Shhh...It's ringing!
[Sonny's phone rings as cow three times]
Marshall: Is that a cow?
Sonny: Yeah and its right behind you.
[Camera joins Niko and Grady struggling to move Zora's box]
Grady: How did Zora move this thing? It weighs a ton.
Niko: Quit your beefin'.
[Sonny runs by while her phone is still ringing as a cow]
Grady: Quit your "mooin'"
[Sonny reaches her dressing room and answers her cell phone.]
Sonny as Eric: Yo, sup? It's Eric.
Marshall: Eric, this is Marshall Pike, executive producer of your favorite show "So Random". I have somebody I want you to talk to. Where's Sonny? Sonny? Sonny?
[Sonny runs back by Marshall leaving her phone in the dressing room on]
Sonny: Hey, Sorry. Just went to go get a snack.
Marshall: Your fan's on the phone.
Sonny: Hey, Eric! How's it goin'? Oh, nothin'! Just eating a turkey leg.
Marshall: Oh, hey! I got an idea. Let's invite him down to the studio.
Sonny: What? No.
Marshall: Oh. You're shy about your first fan. Give me the phone. I'll do it.
Sonny: No, No, No. Uh, so Eric. Listen, we just wanted to invite you down to the set to meet me. What's that? You can't come. Two broken arms?
Marshall: Tell him we'll come to him.
Sonny: We can't go to him.
Marshall: Why not?
Sonny: Uh, Why can't we come to you, Eric? Uh, huh. Uh, huh.
Marshall: What's he saying?
Sonny: Uh, huh. Uh, huh.
Marshall: Give me the phone!
Sonny: Oh, so you can come. That's great! Okay, so I'll see you later. Bye!
I got a feeling that kids not gonna show up.
Marshall: Well, if he doesn't, I'm gonna call him every day until he does.
Sonny: You are meeting your first fan whether he likes it or not.
PA system: Marshall, the boy that wrote Sonny's letter is here.
[Sonny walks in with a fake beard, two fake casts, and a wig acting as Eric]
Marshall: You must be Eric. Wow! You weren't kidding about those broken arms.
Sonny in deep voice: What? You think this is funny having two broken arms? How "Ëœbout I come over there and break your arms and you see how funny it is.
Marshall: You seem a little different from your letter.
Eric: Look if you don't want me here, I'll just leave. Besides, I don't see Sonny here, anyways. See you later.
Marshall: Hold up, where you goin'? I...I...Relax, have a nectarine.
Eric: A Nectarine? What is this? A poor man's peach? [Squeezes nectarine] No thanks. I'm out of here!
Marshall: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Look. You came all the way down here to meet Sonny. You're gonna meet Sonny.
Eric: Well, make it snappy. "Ëœcause I got places to go and people to see...when I get to those places.
[Tawni walks in]
Tawni: Marshall, I need to talk to you.
Marshall: Oh, Tawni, you're just in time. This is Eric. He wrote that fan letter to Sonny.
Tawni: Oh! The one that didn't mention me.
Marshall: Yeah, yeah! That's the one. Tawni, can you keep him company while I go find her?
[Tawni nods yes]
Eric: I really don't think she wants to.
Tawni: No actually. I'd be delighted. Any fan of Sonny's is a fan of mine, right?
Eric: Not necessarily.
[Tawni and "Eric" go to the prop house]
Eric: Well, thanks for showing me around. Gotta go!
Tawni: Wait, Wait! You know. There's something that's been bugging me ever since you wrote that fan letter to Sonny. And that is why would you write a fan letter to Sonny?
Eric: "Ëœcause I like her.
Tawni: Why do you like her?
Eric: Why don't you like her?
Tawni: How do YOU know I don't like her?
Eric: Uh, called a "Dude's Intuition"
Tawni: Okay, it's not that I don't like her. It's just that she's a lot better than I thought she was gonna be.
Eric [accidentally using Sonny voice] Really? [deep voice again] Really?
Tawni: Yeah, but I'd never tell her that.
Eric: Why? You're not threatened by her are you?
Tawni: What? Wha--? Why would I be threatened by her? I mean I'm prettier, and funnier, and my hair has more volume.
Eric: That's because you use so much product.
Tawni: Oh, I like a guy who knows about product.
Eric: And I liked it much better when you stayed over there.
Tawni: So what does your dude's intuition tell you now?
Eric: Time to take these broken wings and fly.
Tawni: Wait! You'll be back! They always come back.
[scene changes to Niko and Grady still trying to move Zora's box]
Niko: 1,2,1,2
[Eric runs into Niko]
Niko: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Eric: Watch where you're going!
Niko: Who are you?
Eric: Who are you?
Grady: Who are you?
Eric: Who are you?
Grady: I'm just gonna break the ice here I'm Grady.
Niko: Don't be givin' away your Identity! We're in the middle of a crime!
Grady: Oh! The names...Darlington...Rusty Darlington. And you are?
Niko: What's it to ya?
Grady: For the answer to that question, I'm going to have to refer to my brother, Jacob Darlington.
Niko: Jacob? Really? That's the best you can do?
Grady: I'm nervous!
Niko: Uh, I got a question for ya, kid: Where's your visitor's pass, huh? Uh, well, uh, I don't know, but why are you lugging around a box that says "Property of Zora"?
Grady: And we accept that answer AS your visitor's pass.
[Eric jumps at Niko and Grady scaring them]
Niko: Enjoy your visit, at...at So, Random.
[scene flips to Josh trying to show Chad how to put stamps on the papers]
Josh: Okay, I'm gonna show you one more time.
[puts stamp on envelope]
Chad: Alright
[Chad puts stamp on exactly as Josh did]
[Josh puts his head down is despair]
Josh: I give up!
Chad: What was wrong with that one?
Josh: Everything.
[Eric runs into Chad]
Eric [accidentally using Sonny voice again]: Oh, sorry.
Chad: Do I know you?
Eric: No one knows me. Nobody will ever know me.
[Chad and Josh both look at Sonny's picture on the wall in suspicion]
Josh: Weird beard.
[Eric enters dressing room]
Tawni: I knew you'd be back. They always come back.
[Tawni claps lights down low]
Tawni: Now, where were we?
Josh: Mail Call!
[The door knocks Sonny down and she loses one of her casts and hurries to put it back on]
Josh: Oh, sorry, Tawni. I didn't know you were, uh, entertaining.
Tawni: I'm always entertaining. [Claps lights on] What do you want, Josh?
Josh: I have some fan mail for Sonny. Will you make sure she gets it?
Tawni: Don't I always?
[Tawni starts to hide the fan mail with the rest of Sonny's fan mail she's been hiding]
[Sonny takes off the costume of Eric]
Sonny: Those are all for me!
Tawni: No! They're all for-Sonny?
Sonny: You've been hiding my fan mail.
Tawni: You're pretending to be your own fan?
Sonny: You committed mail fraud!
Tawni: You committed fan fraud!
Sonny: Fan fraud's not illegal!
Tawni: Mail fraud's not embarrassing!
Sonny: I'm not embarrassed! But apparently, I'm better than you thought I'd be.
Tawni: I told that to Eric in confidence.
Sonny: Well, one thing about Eric is he's bad at keeping secrets.
[Marshall knocks at door]
Marshall: Marshall, knock, knock, can I come in?
Tawni: Guess who else can't keep a secret? Come on in, Marshall!
[Sonny runs to the back of the dressing room to avoid being seen half Eric, half Sonny.]
Marshall: Have you seen Sonny? I can't find her anywhere.
Tawni: You can't find her because-
Sonny:--because she's right here.
Tawni: No you're not. You're Eric. [Turns to Marshall] She's Eric.
Sonny: No. I'm Sonny. And this is Marshall. And you're Tawni remember?
Tawni: Marshall, she's Eric. She put on a costume and a beard and she broke her arms!
Marshall: I see what's going on here.
Tawni: Finally!
Marshall: Somebody's a little jealous about somebody's first fan!
[Sonny laughs]
Tawni: Fine! Well, let's see who will get the last laugh. Marshall, I say we track down Eric, bring him back here, and introduce him to Sonny on stage during the show in front of the whole world. What do you think of that?!
Sonny: I don't like that Idea.
Tawni: I like that idea.
Marshall: I love that idea. I'm gonna go call him right away.
[Marshall leaves room]
[Sonny's cell phone rings]
Sonny: Don't even think about it!
Tawni: Already did.
[Both race to get the cell phone]
[Tawni gets it and is about to answer it]
Tawni: Oh, I'll get it!
[Sonny throws a pillow and makes Tawni drop the phone]
Sonny: No! No! No! No!
Tawni: Get back! Yes!
Sonny: Mine!
[Tawni gets the phone and traps Sonny under her]
[Tawni answers the phone
Tawni: Yo, wassup? You want me to meet Sonny in front of a live audience. You'd have to break my legs to keep me away.
Tawni: Aah, turns out it was for you!
[Sonny uses the cell phone to call Tawni's phone less than two feet away from her]
Tawni: Hello?
Sonny: Will you get off of me?
[Announcer: Now let's get back to "So, Random"
Sonny: So long everybody! And stay tuned for "America's Got Gas"
Marshall: Great show, everybody! Back for the sign-off in two minutes!
[Chad walks in by Sonny she's getting her Eric costume organized and is caught]
Chad: I know I recognized you. You're weird beard. Why are you weird beard?
Sonny: Why do you care?
Chad: I don't know. Let's give it a shot.
Sonny: Well, I sent myself a fan letter pretending to be my own fan and now, I get to go out on stage and meet the fan that I'm pretending to be.
Chad: Why would you write yourself a fan letter?
Sonny: Because I lost faith in myself.
Chad: Classic case of actor insecurity. You start doubting your abilities, wondering whether you're good enough, and whether you deserve to be on TV.
Sonny: So you've been through this?
Chad: No! No! No! But I made you think I had. Which is why I'll never go through it.
Sonny: You are unbelievable! I know it! You don't care! And I thought we were having a real moment here.
Marshall over PA: Now, please welcome back to the stage, the cast of "So, Random"
Sonny: Well, that's my cue.
Chad: So what are you going to do?
Sonny: You don't care, remember? I do, now excuse me while I go out there and embarrass myself.
[Applause]
Marshall: So that's our show, everybody. But before we say goodnight, we want to introduce you a very special guest. The guy that wrote Sonny her very first fan letter. Let's give it up for Eric-[whispers to Tawni]What's his name?
Tawni: Doesn't exist-owitz.
Marshall: Let's give it up for Eric!
[Applause]
Tawni: Eric, come out, come out, wherever you're not.
Sonny: Alright, let's just get this over with, Marshall, I have to say something. Eric is-
Chad as Eric: Your biggest fan!
Tawni: That's impossible. Eric is not real.
Chad: But I'm standing right here. Let's give it up for Sonny!
[Applause]
Sonny: Why are you helping me?
Chad: I'm not helping. I just wanted to try on the beard.
Sonny: Sounds like somebody cares.
Chad: Somebody wanted to try on a weird beard.
Sonny: Cares!
Chad: Beards!
Sonny: Cares!
Chad: Beards!
Sonny: Cares!
Chad: Beards!
Sonny: Beards!
Chad: Cares!
Sonny: Gotcha!
[Applauding continues]
[Ending Credit Scene begins]
[Niko and Grady are by another one of Zora's boxes]
Grady: You ready?
Niko: Very Ready!
[Both tear off card board]
Grady: We're going to need a crowbar!
[Time skips 15 minutes]
[Both tear off wooden piece]
Grady: We're going to need some scissors!
[Time skips 37 minutes]
[Niko is tied up in ribbon]
Grady: May I?
Niko: Stupid Ribbon! 1,2,3.
Grady: You smell that?
Niko: Smells like her grandma's homemade chocolate chip cookies!
[both take box off to find Zora with her head sticking out of a plate of cookies]
Zora: Aah! Who wants cookies?
[Niko and Grady run away]
Zora: Works every time.
